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Aggression and empathy


The emergence of aggression at 18-21 months scares many parents, as so many small children sometimes seem to be annoyed with sudden, sometimes inappropriate ways.

Let's learn how to deal with aggression!

This is natural

However, the discarding of things or objects, violence against peers or parents, are not signs of a child's injustice, but are elements of a developing consciousness that we must learn to control.

It's aggressive

Aggression is one of the oldest behaviors that appears even in the simplest of animals. There are a lot of true and annual beliefs attached to the concept, so it is extremely important to clarify the basics. Behavior that is intended to cause intentional harm to a person (sometimes an object) can be considered aggressive. This can be triggered by a sense of anger, or it can be motivated by a desire to set a certain goal. It is common ground that these can be expressed in many ways. One in one word - others in insult, in clutter - and in other actions - causing injury or injury.

The appearance of anger

The first aggressive manifestations of an angry toddler appear at the age of 14 months, and their frequency is increasing until the age of 24 months. However, the age of 24 months changes in many ways. From this point on, the violent behavior of the girls seems to be less frequent, whereas from the age of the boys only a small increase in the frequency of choice is observed. In this case, if the parent forbids something or an outside obstacle makes it impossible to reach the target, the young child is easily captivated by his or her emotions, that is, the aggression of his or her sense of frustration. Later - at about 3 years of age - aggression becomes less and less visible and the level of hysteria decreases. There is only one common cause behind these compound changes. The child begins to see himself more and more as an individual, with individual needs and desires, and, in parallel, to recognize that the desires of other people may or may not cross his or her desires. His aggression at this age is no more than the most direct expression of his own needs.

How to handle it?

The most important question that a parent raises about this topic is how to deal with the violent manifestations of your child. Fortunately, there are many ways to do this, but the most important thing is to understand the underlying principles behind such methods, and to apply them afterwards will be straightforward and even rewarding. It is important that the aggression of the child is not an expression of bad intent, but is because it is difficult to control his emotions. A small child can be stressed because something fails, he or she may become angry if they lose their game or become angry just to draw attention from their parents, but never when violent, , that is why the parent must be empathetic with the child. You should never respond aggressively to a toddler's aggression because this is how the child learns that this is the correct way to get things done. Parents should also strive to establish boundaries with their loving safety that help children deal with their own anxieties.

Other people's point of view

One way to do this is for the parent to try to illuminate what the believer did for another. For example, when fighting between brothers and sisters, it is important that the parent remains calm. In these cases, you can emphasize how sensitive the violent behavior would be if you were criminally similar to it. You can empathize with your child's feelings of anger, but in the meantime you have to make sure that aggression is not the solution. For example: "I know you really like the game your brother plays, but now he wants to play a little bit with him. If you want to give it to him, then just ask him and he will let you play "The dolls can be used to derive the same passion, where the child can take on the role of different people, like the parent. Interestingly enough, fairy tales can help a lot here, and their stories are necessarily about childhood fantasy. Identifying the story with the story, experiencing the tension in a safe environment, and then addressing the problem can help your little listener to cope with their difficult feelings.

It's important to discuss

Prohibiting aggression is not an end in itself, we need to talk to our child about what they should not and why not. We also have to tell you what to do if you want to achieve something, and to praise it if you did not violate it, but did not try to achieve it.