Useful information

Best Development 5 - Help with Your Limits!

The basis of development is to make our child feel safe. To do this, it is essential to set limits in early years that protect you from decision-making responsibility.

Best Development 5 - Help with Your Limits!

Initially, it seems that we hold our baby in our arms. Come to us to feel safe and close to you. When we reply to him immediately, we try to reassure him that he knows he can count on us. He learns that his signs are not in vain if he is hungry, alone, cold, helping him. Then it comes as a surprise: your mom answers, but it doesn't come so fast. As time goes on, it is more and more common that his desires are not burnt out. This is the first experience that the world does not work to its liking. Then comes a lot of "not free and" must ".

Between rules

If we do not view barriers as a system of rules to which a child must conform, but as a outline a safe area for boundaries, then note that these are not obstructions, but on the contrary: they draw free areas. Within these, you can operate freely And you can. Parents should not be in breach of the rules either, because they do not have to prohibit something, because that is the case. Shouldn't we be looking for common solutions instead of ready rules? Where it can be done, it certainly is better, but two-three-year-olds cannot be expected to negotiate with us and make wise decisions. In this age, we are helping them by taking responsibility for them, and we are taking the lead. We do not even dare to ask you this when you are arriving to give your seedling a life-saving rule that "if the lamp is red, it is forbidden to step on the body."

Йvrхl йvre

In the first year

For the baby, the world is an Irish research room. What happens to the bribe if I drop it, and what happens to the leaves of the houseplants if I drop them? Our instructions, our prohibitions in the first half of the year, do nothing but in the second half. At this age, little ones do not realize that their actions have consequences. Similarly, rules and prohibitions do not understand the meaning. Memories also need to evolve to discover relationships between mother's words and their own actions.
What can we do? Divert your attention, take it out of the forbidden zone, or adjust the environment to the baby, for example, remove dangerous or valuable items from your hand.

In the second year

According to surveys, two out of three instructions at another year's age are sure to have been killed by a child. Most years understand NO, but the consequences of your actions are not always able to be considered. You follow the roller ball in the room or in the garden just as you do in the body - your imagination does not give you the chance to fire a car. His awareness of development the opposite goes hand in hand, the manifestation of one's own will. At the end of the second year, it ends up in the rut era. What can we do? GAMES, LET'S GIVE YOU THAT take part in the decisionbut, where appropriate, stay determined and stick to what we think is right.

In the third year

Over the age of two, children are increasingly able to understand the meaning of parenting requests and prohibitions. The rules are stored in the memory. Most two-and-a-half-year-olds don't like the hot drive if her mother warns her that she understands that she may be in trouble, remembers some minor accident, and her imagination predicts what's next. However, it has not seen many sources of danger, and cannot correct many situations properly, this is an unreasonable fear (such as hair loss) and a dangerous recklessness in the background.What can we do? Follow the rules first: Tidy up your evening together, always tell us how to get on the street, and persistently choose the little ones for your baby.


The three-year-olds are all old with a stronger determination they have, but we know that others have a will. Most of the time, they recognize the needs of their peers and cooperate well. Four-year-olds love and enjoy the simpler social games. With great justice insist on adherence to the rules. They stop by the red light by themselves. Meanings have evolved enough to differentiate the currency from the state.What can we do? Simple prohibitions are not accepted by our children, we need to explainwhy a rule is important. Allow yourself to gain more experience (for example, your skin may feel like it is cold when you run out into the garden in the poul), and consistently insist on our precautionary prohibitions.

"Limit me so I can decide!"

If you believe in horoscopes, I'd say Oliver is a real balance. The elders are jealous, uncertain, volatile. Should I buy Ovibu or Julcsi? Do I eat bread or cheese bread? I'm not saying there are things worth thinking about, but so much fluctuation, uncertainty was beyond my control. Oliver studied drumming in music school. To flutter because he couldn't decide which one to go for. He was in high spirits, even though he sometimes did not want to go to the city because he would have had to abandon the helicopter model he was just making or leave his soccer friends there. What should I do? - we were here again. Of course, you may miss the music lover once in a while, but we're more and more caught up in the "go or don't go" request. Finally, I blasted: I made the decision in my own words, not very kindly, and knocked on the door. For the time being, the mournfulness had raged until Oliver came in, after a hell, with a big grin on his face: "Today the flute was great, praised Panni! . Nimi's encouragement, you seem to need it. And it is important to have a relationship in which you do not have to express your own beliefs. At the beginning of the next lesson, this happened.
- Mom, I'm not gonna come, pay me for football! he declared firmly.
"All right," I said, "the point is movement."
Йva, the mother of seven-year-old Oliver

Only the example breeds

How can we get our child to follow the rules?
It is best to know from the outset that there are rules for everyone in our family: we only eat from the table, we remove street shoes in the hall. If children find that their parents take it seriously, follow the rules, and ask for others, the introduction of the new rules is much easier.

What should we do if you resist defiantly?

It is especially important that we do not let go, because now we decide how much our word is worth. Only in really important things will we be unshakable, and the support of the other parent is also needed. If we say that this is an upheaval now, but we will continue to do it before the year, even though we ourselves have added, we are afraid that our seedling will follow its example.

If you've ever broken the rule, how do you punish it?

His four-year-old kingschool's room was walled. Your parents have been banned from the fire for three days. Is this a good punishment? Certainly not. The child does not understand what the cracked wall is for storytelling. Because you didn't see any correlation between your parents' response, you don't believe that you did the wrong thing. Such punishments are not intended to make sense, they are only emotionally affected: cause pain, humiliate. And you can only choose this with a dacc, even if you don't express it. He keeps the consequences of his deed. Is it so bad that the wall got smeared? Repair it! Of course, do not paint your room for a week, but let's talk about some of the work we do: let's go buy some paint, put it together and fix it. All this after we used to go to the playground or play football with my dad in the garden. There's no play, no time, because we need to repair the damage it causes.Related articles:
  • Best Development 6. - Let's Open to the World!
  • Best Developer 3 - Just Loose!