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First Year of Birth: Mental Changes From the Mother's Point of View


Childbirth is also called life cycle switching in the family as well as in personal development. Other types of relationships are being created, family roles, the whole mode of operation are changing: these large-scale rearrangements are called normative crises.

The First Year with the Psychologist's Eyes - What Spiritual Changes Does the Mother Have?

Changing habits

Personality development can be conceived by changing normal life processes in a series of consecutive stages, stages, in which each stage of development has a specific life task, Nбdasdy Nurra clinical psychologenesis. - It means that our standard tools and solutions just don't work, we have to figure out new ones. We need to somehow solve the new situation we are facing. As we do this, so do we: we change our relationship with ourselves and our place in the world, the expert explained. After giving birth to a baby, most mothers experience feelings of depth and intensity that she could not have imagined before: suddenly, everything that matters is important, meaningful, important. - Many women experience a power of self-sacrifice to such an extent that they are completely enriched with new yen. Many people report that childhood memories come up that they suddenly see or interpret, they also seem to have reacted, ”Nabdasdy said.

Coordinate needs

According to the expert, the first year it is about tuning to one another, it is about changing the processes of life. In this case, the needs of the mother, the lives of the living brothers and sisters, the father, and the needs of the baby have to be somehow matched to make the best of everyone. This can be done in many ways. - During the first year, the mother regulates the child's state of mind and the satisfaction of her needs - they both form an interdependent regulatory system. Every baby has a few basic needs: emotional and physical safety, more physical contact, sufficient nutrition - what each baby does not care about, how when, how and to what extent these biological and psychological effects are required, the baby is very different. They like stronger or weaker stimuli, posture, hunger more often or less often, seek out new or better-known things, and have a number of dimensions in which the baby is different. "In the first year, mothers develop a new and increased sensitivity, the ability to respond to a child's needs in a way that is responsive to the child's condition," Nurbas Nabdasdy added.

There is constant worry about the first few days

We know from professionals that many mothers feel uncertain about their child's ongoing anxiety, which can make the first few days or weeks difficult: the first child can sometimes not believe that this tiny, fragile little girl will always be able to survive, , it's on the living table. Many young mothers aren't sure if some strange phenomena are okay.- The heavy weight of a baby who is more difficult to soothe may cause concern, the small patches on the skin that fail much, hold the hand in the same way, etc. There is always anxiety, and sometimes it is difficult to decide whether something is really a problem or not, and it is also a great responsibility to notice when something is wrong, this responsibility is sometimes depressing said the specialist. In addition, lack of sleep, fatigue, lack of personal space can be burdensome for a new mother: there are people who find it difficult to have the physical, emotional, and doing something that can also be a source of guilt.- Some people feel irritable because of exhaustion, something that is difficult to retrospectively reflect: we may not imagine ourselves to be such a mother. How we survive in our maternal roles, we are insecure, confused or distrustful of our days and loose in the sun, of course, has a lot to do with our life. It happens that a mother is born before birth he thought his life was eating like he used to, just to have a cute baby there. You may be disappointed that this is not the case, ”Nabdasdy Nurra said.

Baby blues and depressed

In our newborn mother, it happens that after birth they feel depressed, they experience negative feelings. Because the levels of some hormones in pregnancy increase tenfold before pregnancy, they gradually return to pre-pregnancy levels over a period of nine months, with the "baby blues" phenomenon that many people experience: mood swings, sudden drowsiness, or extreme tiredness, restlessness, loneliness, sleep distress. Which is not normбlis if szьlйs utбn tцbb hйtig constantly bad mood, йrdeklхdйs йs цrцm kйpessйgйnek elvesztйse, йrtйktelensйg, remйnytelensйg, tehetetlensйg йrzйse, or thoughts, or against you sajбt mбsok related halбllal, цngyilkossбggal irбnyulу agresszнv kйsztetйs jelentkezik.Ha a йdesanya ъgy йrzi that unable to cope with simple, everyday tasks like sleeping, or sleeping, your balance is very different, or you may need to consult a specialist for a whole day. Risk factors when the mother was previously depressed, living in a relationship conflict or alone, without help, when the birth condition was difficult to process or traumatic, and in the younger age, she was more depressed.

Let's be realistic about ourselves!

According to a clinical psychologist, it is definitely good if sets realistic expectations for the mother's self: You don't have to be a perfect mother - if a mother does as much as she can, loves and cares for her needs, she is just fine. - If we strive for perfection, we will always feel uneasy, disappointed, and in a bad mood. We are more interested in what we have done well. Note that there will be worse and better days, but let's not be surprised: a worse day does not mean that we are finally and irrevocably disabled. There may always be problems that we may not or may not fully solve. This used to be the case at work, and in other areas of life, why not take care of your baby, he called attention.

Let's ask for help!

It is very important that the mother ask for help: not alone, struggle with a million tasks. Many people do not ask for help because they do not want to hear unwanted advice, opinion or criticism. - The family member who can listen and understand what the mother needs is good for her, and does exactly that: no more: the mother may wish that the unwashed dust would disappear , and in the meantime, they can sleep comfortably with their baby, while you may want someone to nurse the baby while they can go for a walk. THE Negative thoughts are countered by a certain amount of sports - of course, following a medical consultation - and helping with the relationship. If you have an eating disorder, dysregulation, it is worth asking for breastfeeding advice or a consultation with your newborn child, these are very good options, the expert added, and the newborn and mother-in-law will also play.

Do your best

Dr. Rostb Rita According to the psychologist, after childbirth, exhaustion and, if all is well done, baby-mom is well, the easiest of feelings of relief, wit, and love. After the baby arrives, love, affection, especially in the birth of the first child, increases the sense of responsibility. - In this case, the mother is confronted with the life of a helpless little girl, its development depends on it. She wants to do the best she can, and if the baby is calm and responsive, she will also prefer to be a loving, caring, competent mother. However, if your child is miserable, has a bad sleep, has difficulty or does not breastfeed, has a stomach, he becomes insecure and begins to act on his own, said the specialist. In a new role. It turns out that he understands, perhaps even understands, the child, prides himself on his child's pride and admires his abilities. However, in addition to positive feelings like hate, relief, affection, negative feelings can also be present in our newborn mothers. can solve, solve. You may be tense, impatient, and often expect all your mothers to be happy, witty, upset. You do not see the end of this state, fearing that it will always remain so. You can further increase your sense of negativity if you feel that your career plans are backed up by your previous work or class history, said Dr. Rita Rostbs.

Bloody babbling

According to the expert, in this case, the mother is obsessed with each other, wondering if she is the mother of her child, whether she can protect her from all dangers, and who can serve all her needs. - The classic answer to this is that we should not try to be perfect, partly because we cannot achieve it, and we can be counted as failure, and the child does not need to save everything, everything. Rather, the goal is to be good mothers who give their children many things, set boundaries, relax themselves, and occasionally turn off even without a child - psychologists have called attention to it. ъjdonsьlt desdesanya can be considered a tired, exhausted, uncertain, natural reaction. However, if the family members find that the mother cannot sleep even if she is just asleep, if she wants to sleep a lot, neglects herself or neglects to cleanse herself, it may indicate that she may be in trouble. - In this case, the family members should try to help him more, at times to relieve the burden, to ensure the possibility of undisturbed relaxation and disengagement. However, if the mother's condition is not improving at this time, if uncertainty remains strong, if she does not seem to have the strength to care for herself and / or her child, it is advisable to consult a doctor - Rita.

Who can help?

The most important help, according to the psychologist, is if the mother's partner, the child's father will not leave him alone in her new position, she expects, supports, strengthens her mother, and does all of the child's tasks. - For example, it might be important for a mother to have a period of the day when she can hang on to her steady-state radar, because Dad took her for a breath and a little baby. It is also very helpful for the mother to share the negative sensations with a couple who do not respond with a touch but make them aware of their sensations and expect improvement over time. Conversations with friends who have overcome these difficulties can also help, and if parents get into an early childhood environment like this, he added.